Josephine Baker
by Rynna Aurelia
Summary: She watches the dark silhouetted rooftops in her suit, and dares the world with a smirk and beckoning hand.


**Disclaimer: **I own absolutely nothing connected with Kingsman, in any medium.

**Warnings: **Self-edited, not Britpicked, canon-typical language and violence, more-than-slightly-implied sexual abuse and harassment (Nothing graphic, but if it makes you uncomfortable, skip the second section).

* * *

_"After all, Ginger Rogers did everything that Fred Astaire did. She just did it backwards and in high heels."_

_-Ann Richards_

* * *

In another life, Eggsy Unwin emerges from V-Day victorious—a mixed victory, admittedly, with Harry Hart dead, few friends gained among the surviving Kingsman agents, and his own unorthodox induction as Galahad. But it still is something he would call a victory to anyone while sober.

This is not that life.

In this life, Eggsy Unwin gains something generously called a Pyrrhic victory.

With V-Day over and done with, she is summarily ejected from the service with barely a by-your-leave on the part of, well, just about everyone (There is a perfunctory, if genuine, apology on the part of Merlin, of course, but it will take years for him to realize the true magnitude of the mistake that was letting Eggsy go without a fight; on Eggsy's part, it will take years of freezing bitterness to realize how little she would have had to do to convince him to do so).

The _(aristocratic, white, male)_ board governing Kingsman needs to oust someone over blame, and it _must _be that Unwin girl; King would never have betrayed the service, Galahad _died_, and Merlin was in England. And besides, Hesketh was expected to become Lancelot, he made his concerns about the Unwin girl clear, and whatever happened to him, anyway?

Girls as agents was a troublesome idea anyway, the board had reasoned. The Morton girl, at least, possessed lineage, and an uncle to guide her in the right direction. Lee Unwin had barely been minted as an agent before his death, and they had _all _seen the girl's record before Galahad had plucked her out of who knew where.

They congratulated themselves on their train of thought, had a series of hearty laughs, and promptly forgot about the Unwins within the hour.

* * *

In this world, Roxanne Morton was considerably angrier about this than Merlin is.

_(Or so she thinks; Roxy knows many things. How to read angry Scots who are veterans in espionage is not one of them, yet, and while the bullet missed Harry Hart's brain in this life, it didn't miss his skull; he will be back much sooner than expected. Meanwhile, the Statesmen continue to wonder what to do with him when he wakes up. __If he wakes up._

_Blood loss and hypoxia were tricky like that.)_

"They can't just _dump _you, not after everything!" Roxy insisted, her eyes bright and flaming.

Eggsy doesn't bother trying to match Roxy's incandescent rage, instead finishing packing up the clothes she still had in icy silence.

Roxy may have been the one made Galahad—and Eggsy would never dream of begrudging her the title—but that didn't mean she knew what Eggsy faced with the disavowal from Kingsman.

In this life, Eggsy wished she only had to duck Dean's punches—Puberty had been a heartless _bitch, _in so many ways. _(In this world, Eggsy would know that she'd rather see Daisy grow up in an orphanage than __**that**__)_

She hadn't quite grown up to be as nice as Eggsy in another life, but it made her loyalty all the fiercer.

In this life, she didn't hesitate when ordered to shoot JB—that is, in telling Merlin to go fuck himself seven ways to Doomsday and contemplating if she should shoot _him _instead. JB was on an increasingly short list of living beings who have never stabbed her where she was soft. JB had certainly never said she was a stupid whore, or gave her bruises on her tits that wouldn't heal for days.

JB, this time, was short for Josephine Baker, who dazzled Nazis with vapid smiles (In this world, Eggsy's grandmother _might _have gotten around) even as she helped the French Resistance blow them to hell.

_(Eggsy always viewed it as two last names: there was Baker, and then there was Dean-Baker)_

* * *

In this world, Valentine is the only one who doesn't raise a disbelieving eyebrow when Eggsy raises her gun, her stolen suit still splattered with the blood of his dead guards. He vomits after laughing, and tells her to give the world hell with his last breath.

Eggsy shoots him in the face, and only regrets it a little.

That little bit of regret becomes a spark of unyielding, terrifying rage to sustain her for years as Eggsy—recklessly, selfishly, bravely, selflessly—carries her baby sister away from the house she had called home. (_There were only so many times, after all, that they would be anything close to subservient to someone. What did it take to make __Gwyneth Unwin snap?)_

Tilde had offered her a job—and the babysitting hours, pay, and off-duty sexual benefits had been unbeatable. Plus, this way, Eggsy could keep the person calling themselves her (Admittedly gorgeous, intelligent, idealistic, _wild)_ boss where she could see them.

* * *

She watches the dark silhouetted rooftops in her suit, and dares the world with a smirk and beckoning hand.

* * *

**A/N: **This one's in my notes as "The AU where Eggsy kicks even more ass in high heels, and meets every fictional secret service I know how to write", with the working title of _Josephine Baker_. Also, there may be faking of deaths involved. Make of that what you will.

And before anyone screams about it at me, let the record show I love genderbending too much because we don't get enough female-centric fandoms (I'm looking at _you_, Ghostbusters), and the day I stop doing it is the day it becomes unnecessary.

I am so fucking pumped for _Captain Marvel_.

Anyway, feel free to let me know what you think, and if you ever want to take one of the drabbles and run with them, just ask in the comments!


End file.
